But, no. Everything about today is go! Forge ahead! Keep doing what you’re doing. This exam just completed today, and now a semester stretches before me with no classes, no teaching, just blissful, long, days of data and thinking and reading…the scientist’s dream. Go, go, go as hard and fast as you can to get publications and to get your professor tenure and while you’re at it just book a trip with hardly a weeks notice, travel ‘round the world to visit friends for two weeks and come back just in time to submit a grant, never missing a beat. Exhilaration!
So wait, you say?
That word is not in my vocabulary today. This mind is not sure what to do with it, racing as it were with tomorrow’s experiments and plane ticket prices and words of praise from superiors.
Surely it’s not some supernatural sign that I am to back off, to simmer down?
Not now, just when things are picking up after four long years of waiting. Not when I’m finally conquering the fear and the perfectionism and the lack of self-confidence that kept me waiting when I should have been forging ahead. Not now when the Father is wrapping His arms around me in blessing and walking every day with me in this work that He has called me to and has made me for.
Wait on the Lord
Not stop moving ahead in the life He is giving me.
But stop moving ahead for a moment
Just a moment – that puff of time between striving and resting
When He can speak
The consciously opening of space even when the inn is all full and merry, and it would be more convenient to send Him to the stable nearby.
So I wait
I wait for Him to whisper He’s here with me, to brush the hair from my face and look me straight in the eye. I need to be told I’m loved. And amid all that clamors and glimmers and satisfies, these quiet moments in His embrace are worth the wait.