I roll over this morning, trying to rub the week’s lack of sleep out of my eyes. It’s 5:44am, and all I can think of is how I need to get going, to get some work done in the quiet office before my 8:30 am meeting, and how nice it would be if I could have been there at 6. I take my shower and then I remember that I haven’t done my little reading for the day. I’m reading through the Lord’s prayer every morning. Simple and grounding for busy days like today. In this moment I have a decision to make. All cylinders are already firing and I’m feeling good, focused, prepared for the day. I don’t feel like I need any time with my Father, and so I’m at risk of saying no to what I truly need and want most in life. I pull myself back and say a quick yes. And I’m hit across the heart with this truth:
“Your kingdom come” has to come before “Give us today our daily bread”
Oh how I cling to that last prayer, day after day. Just give me the mental, physical, and emotional stamina to get through another day, to walk out this calling that You have given me. I feel better only asking for that crumb. But Your Kingdom come has greater implications. It means the huge asking for His Kingdom to come, yes around the world, but also in my own life. Do I really want His kingdom to come in my life MORE than I want my daily bread? Do I really want to deal with the sins of pride or gossip that rear their ugly heads daily, and that are just a normal way of life in my workplace? Instead I push those away for the “calling” I have to pursue this degree, to “be successful” to work as if working unto the Lord. I’m asking him for worldly success at the expense of spiritual success.
Each day this week I have tried to say yes to Jesus and His Kingdom before asking for my own daily sustenance. Each day I have acknowledged Him and then marched blindly into the day falling into my godless and sinful traps as usual. And yet I know that real change can only begin with the yes. It is my work to obey and say yes; it is His work to tame my unwieldy heart.
So again today, I say Yes to more of You, less of me.
May today be an anthem – a praise song to You.
May it be a reflection of the honor You’re due
May my mind ponder only the good and the true
May Your thoughts increase and mine become few