In my mind, the year’s a clock face. Right now I’m coming down the home stretch of 2015, ticking toward the bottom of the hour, anticipating a sharp turn that will lift my face into the new year. Riding on this moving clock-hand I am always facing forward and have to twist and strain to look back into the past seconds and days and months. Often facing backwards only leads to the motion-sickness of regret and I return to marching forward to calm my queasiness. A healthy reflection on 2015 is a remembrance of God’s grace. How he carried me through the scary uncertainty of outlining my research project. The endless days and nights of work fueled by wonder at a Creator. Long discussions on life and religion and spirituality with co-workers. Sweet friendship and fellowship that burned brighter before being dampened by distance and a dangerous world. A blissful week of vacation after two years solid of work. Delight in exploring new geographies including bleak prairie and majestic mountains. Intensifying love and appreciation for my family of origin. Just enough provision of mental, physical, and emotional energy to make it through a several month long academic challenge. And in this long aftermath, finding myself in a place of exhaustion and desolation and lost-ness, which is the place where I most readily cry out for the giver and sustainer of life.
Merry Christmas to the FMF community! The more of you I meet and start to get to know, the more I appreciate you and want to invest more time in this community. (There is a new year coming for such resolutions!) Sending you my hand-made Christmas card and wishes for a blessed holiday season!